“It was my ignorance and foolishness. At that time, I thought that as long as it was beneficial for my son's treatment, I would try any method, which led me to mistakenly join the Almighty God cult (Church of Almighty God, or “CAG” for short). Whenever I think about how my ignorance and foolishness might affect my child's future due to breaking the law, I feel extremely regretful and guilty, and I am constantly trapped in deep self-blame...”
Happy family with a flaw
My name is Xiaojun (pseudonym), born in 1982. Originally, I had a happy family, with a loving husband and a harmonious household, and we also had a lovely daughter. In 2016, our family of three welcomed a new life. The birth of my son brought us joy, but the baby was born with a congenital deformity in his left ear. The left ear's auricle was not fully formed, only a small lump of flesh grew, and he also suffered from hearing impairment, commonly known as microtia. From then on, my husband and I carried a heavy burden in our hearts and embarked on the journey of seeking medical treatment for our son.
After the doctor's diagnosis, it was determined that our son's deformity could be treated, but the medical expenses exceeded what our family could afford. Additionally, because our son was still young and in the developmental stage, the treatment required a major surgery, with each operation lasting at least 6 hours. My husband and I were worried that the anesthesia from the surgery would affect our son's physical and intellectual development, so we hesitated to make a decision. On one hand, we hoped to wait until our son's body developed better to minimize the impact of the surgery on his body. On the other hand, we were also trying to raise more money for his surgery.
Although my son's deformity can be cured, the baby often faces many strange looks because of his disability. My husband and I also suffer from great psychological pressure, and our once happy family is now shrouded in a cloud.
Out of deep love for my child, I mistakenly joined a cult
After my son was born, my mother-in-law helped take care of him while my husband and I worked hard to raise money for the surgery. At the beginning of 2021, my mother-in-law returned to her hometown. To better take care of my son and daughter, I stayed at home full-time to pick up and drop off the children from school.
Whether my son was out and about or at kindergarten, he would be pointed at and even mocked by other children, who called him “Little Ear.” My son often asked me, “Mom, why are my ears different from others?” My psychological pressure has increased, I feel very anxious, often suffer from insomnia, and feel very sad.
One day on the road, we met a woman named Ah Hua (pseudonym). She noticed the difference in my son and also saw the anxiety and helplessness in my heart. Ah Hua was very enthusiastic in communicating with me, deeply sympathized with my situation, and was very “concerned” about me. She gave me a book about “Almighty God” and told me to read it and try joining the CAG, saying it might help my son. I felt the “kindness” and at the same time was very eager for my son to get better soon. I decided to give it a try, thinking that as long as it could help my son's condition, I should try it. Maybe it would really work.
Later, I met Ah Hua again. She asked me how I was doing with the book, showing great “concern” for me. She suggested that I attend a gathering with others to read and do things together, which might be more helpful. After much hesitation, I decided to give it a try. I followed Ah Hua to someone else's house to attend a gathering, where we watched videos and shared our readings together.
Besides attending gatherings, I would read the book Ah Hua gave me whenever I had free time at home. Once, I got so engrossed in reading that I forgot to turn off the stove while cooking, almost causing a fire. Sometimes, to have more time to read, I started to neglect supervising my elder daughter's studies, and her grades began to slip. My husband was busy with his work and didn't have time to help our daughter with her studies. He reminded me to spend more time tutoring her, but I was still engrossed in reading and attending gatherings. Despite multiple discussions, my husband and I started having frequent arguments. Due to the frequent arguments with my husband, I couldn't control my emotions well. Sometimes, I would vent my negative feelings on my son and daughter. I started having sleepless nights, which led to extreme physical exhaustion. I fell into endless anxiety, guilt, and a sense of losing control, living in constant fear and unease.
Finding the way back, I was filled with regret
In November 2021, I was arrested by the public security authorities while attending a gathering of the Almighty God cult. Afterwards, the street and community arranged for anti-cult volunteers to patiently educate and help me. To help me break away from the cult, the volunteers guided me through watching videos and studying related materials, patiently explaining and helping me analyze the changes and harms brought to me by the Almighty God cult. This allowed me to re-examine that period of my life and recognize the true nature and dangers of the CAG. In fact, ever since I got involved with the Almighty God cult, my son's condition hasn't been improved. Instead, my own health has deteriorated, and my emotional instability has hurt our family. Looking back, I feel as if I've woken up from a dream, realizing how ignorant and naive I was. My lack of legal awareness led me to be deceived by the cult, causing harm to myself and my family.
I feel deeply guilty for not taking good care of my son and daughter, and for being a burden to my family. Thinking about my ignorance and the potential impact on my children, I am still filled with regrets today. I feel unworthy as a mother and harbor deep hatred towards the cult organization.
Source：https://www.chinafxj.cn/n174/c861629/content.html
